The Coffee Shop Loiterer
by ArlkatThePillowfighter
Summary: Collab Fic (which in my language translates to 'paragraph style rp') with a buddy of mine. Dirk Strider and Jake English meet over a cup of coffee... literally. Bad summary is bad, w/e. Barista!Jake and [SPOILER ALERT]!Dirk.


**(GUYS IM SO SORRY this was supposed to come out on 4/13. Actually Silver Linings, Timeless and Breathless, and Supernaturalstuck s2 e2 were all supposed to come out then but some stuff happened and they're all GONE. I'M SO SORRY HAVE THIS INSTEAD.)**

**DEDICATED TO DERP-FOR-HOMESTUCK. YOU'RE COOL, BRO. DON'T DO DRUGS.**

A young man by the name of Dirk Strider stands outside of a coffee shop, looking in the window. He's been here once every few days for almost three weeks, and today he has to go inside because damn it all the cute barista with the green eyes totally just saw him., To be honest that one is the whole reason he's been here, not to be a stalker or anything. Unadmittedly chickening out. But if he leaves now, definitely spotted, that will be the end and he will be marked off as a creepy stalker dude. Not cool. So he opens the door, stepping for the first time into this small coffee shop that he just now realizes he doesn't even know the name of.

"Welcome to (Insert name here)!" He exclaimed this greeting cheerfully, just as he was trained. He had been working here for a while, it was a decent job for a College freshman. If provided him money and that was all he needed, keeping in mind that he worked to live not lived to work. As a man with platinum blonde hair entered the building he immediately recognized him. The coffee shop loiterer. He wouldn't say anything about the fact that the guy had been hanging around here every other day for weeks. But he still found it odd that he had finally decided to go inside for once.

Dirk worked hard to maintain his 'strong silent type' personality change (he wouldn't deign to call it a facade like his younger brother), but this guy somehow made him forget all that. His hair was literally the color of chocolate, with caramel-colored streaks and highlights naturally running it. And his eyes, mother of fuck, his _eyes _\- oh shit stop staring. He smirks and does a simple half-wave, quickly finding a seat in the back and simply staring out the window. He may be the strong, silent type, but there's something... lonely about him.

This lonely aura that the stranger had intrigued him. It was Jake's turn to take this order, so he made his way toward Dirk, adjusting his apron as it had gotten into an awkward position (I'm assuming this is a more sophisticated cafe). He continued to pull the customary smile as he looked down upon the man, bringing out a notepad and a pen so he could take his order. Jake pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose and uttered the usual question he asked to every customer. "And what would you like good sir? By the way, the menu is placed on the table."

He doesn't look at the menu, basically glancing once again at those enthralling green eyes before dragging his gaze to the grass outside. Such a similar shade of green, but not quite. "I'll have a white chocolate mocha with caramel drizzle." He requests quietly, his southern drawl leaking into his voice as per usual. His eyes strayed about behind his peculiar shades, attempting to find something, anything to leave his eyes on besides the barista's. He doesn't need to get into another relationship right now, at least that's what he thinks. Maybe someone sweet after Caliborn would do the lonesome Strider some good.

Jake chuckles at the male's persistent need to be vague and mysterious. If he didn't think the barista would catch on, he was pretty wrong. It had been a while since Jake met such a strange character and in all honesty watching him keep up this 'facade' was almost entertaining. He wrote it down and began to take a few steps away. "Coming right up!" He didn't bother to comment on it, deciding to let him do his thing.

Well, he's not exactly doing it on purpose, now is he? It's basically routine to him - don't smile, keep your voice level, and avoid any and all confrontation. Don't stand out, and if you do, stand as far out as you can without looking stupid. He nods to the barista, watching him go and holy shit that ass. "My name's Dirk, by the way. Aren't you supposed to write it on the cup?" He smirks a bit but seriously bro calm down hes just the reason for your existence every two days for about an hour. Jesus.

After he was finished, he handed the drink to Dirk with a friendly grin, adjusting his glasses right afterwards. He had some spare time and his curiosity was killing him. He needed to more about this guy, that mysterious air he carried about him was just so magnetic. Jake pulled out a chair halfway, looking to the other for approval. "May I?"

Dirk accepted the drink gratefully, staring at it for a moment before drinking from it. It was good, honestly, just something he'd heard someone order once. He was brought back to the present by a chair moving across linoleum, and looked up to see that English was still here. "...Sure." He offered with a little nod, wondering how much time he had to spare. With buying the drink he was already condemning himself to walking home, which would take half an hour at least. Not that Dave would care, but he didn't want the little shit getting into a bunch of junk food or anything. He also had to be home in time for the new episode of MLP tonight or he would miss it.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you. But I have a few minutes to spare and I was wondering what about you I found to be so charismatic! It's not everyday I run into a bloke like yourself. Not to sound weird or anything but you fascinate me." He was going to be honest, the way Dirk acted was really interesting to him. Probably because it was practically the exact opposite to how he himself acted. It was like this man was a different species. Some odd creature that Jake was determined to research.

"You ain't bothering no one, Jake. Study your science experiment or whatever." He drawls in a slightly more friendly tone, sipping from his cup. "What is it you want to know?" He asks, hiding his smirk in his drink and watching Jake closely through his shades. Most people found his life's story to be kinda scary, and he didn't care to be stared at much.

"Anything you'd be willing to tell me. I'm all ears!" He leaned back in his chair. "As long as it doesn't take more than 15 minutes to explain. That's about all the time I have!"

"My life's story can be summed up in about one sentence. 'What the fuck is all this shit.' Most people take that and stop asking questions, but I see you're the inquisitive type. Maybe we should hang out sometime and I can tell you the rest, I've got to go soon as well." He sipped out of his cup more, not looking like he had anywhere at all to be.

"You must be a busy guy! Hah well. All I can say to you is you've got me interested. I'd love to hangout some time!" He ran a hand through his hair, looking at his limited edition Back to The Future Flux Capacitor wristwatch. It was time for him to head off as well, work was calling for him and there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

"Busy doesn't begin to describe my life." He nods, finishing the drink and setting it on the table. "I'll come back soon, English. Nice watch, by the way." He smirks, poking the menu. Can I get a slice of Jake's Pumpkin Cake to go?" Smooth move, ordering the guy's signature snack.

He got up, a happy simper on his face as he made his way over to their kitchen. "Coming right up!" He'd won him over. Jake was a simple creature, and all it took was a compliment and a kind gesture and he was sold. Jake cut him a slice, wrapping it up as neatly as humanly possible and handing it to him personally. "That'll be (Insert cost) please!"

He nods, taking it with his own smilish smirk. He pulls out his wallet, setting exact change on the table. "I'd tip ya, but I'd like to get home within the hour." He confesses, standing with a shrug. "I've got a little shit at home to take care of, but I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okey doke. Take your time with this 'shit' that you must do. See you around." He turned away, smiling as he thought to himself. He got back to business, wasn't going to make any money if he slacked off. Jake rushed back over to the kitchen,hopping right onto the next order as he stood behind the cashier.

*cash register ))

Auto correct ugh))

**/i was wondering**

**/jake why u molesting cashier**

**/IN FRONT OF DIRK**

"Actually, said 'shit' is my little brother." He corrects, too late. He rolls his eyes, taking a bite and waving as he heads out the door. It's actually pretty good, to Dirk at least. Not that he has much experience in this area, he tends to eat pizza and takeout, not treats. For almost half an hour he just thought about Jake, sort of cross-analyzing him and the way he talked/acted in the way his younger sister used to. Who knows who rubbed it off on who, but now they both do it and tend to annoy their siblings to death with it. Eventually he remembered Dave existed and would probably want food, speeding up his pace a little.

Jake went about his day as if it was every other day. He got off of work about an hour after Dirk left, and after that he continued about his normal schedule. Returning home, giving Becquerel a good walk and possibly watching a movie once he got back. Ah what an exciting life he lead; not really. He hated it. Jake longed for adventure. An opportunity to travel the world and see new and terrific sights beyond his wildest dreams. He was really no where close to getting what he wanted, but meeting Dirk might have been one step in the right direction. For all he knew, Dirk could have been a secret agent or a well known assassin. Maybe. Just maybe. If he wished hard enough he would be able to engage in some excitement for once in his life. Please let Dirk be a secret agent. Please please please.

Unfortunately for Jake, Dirk was not a secret agent. Nor was he even as cool as he seemed to be in the cafe. You wanna know what his schedule was? He got home, fed the whiny-ass teenager there, watched an episode of MLP, barely managed to fit in an ass-kicking for the smuppets sliced to ribbons in the hallway, and spent the rest of his night at the dreaded McDonalds. At least he didn't work in the front, nobody he knew would ever see him there. He worked in the back, stacking boxes of crap 'food' and basically being the manager because his sister Roxy never came in to do her job. Not that he got paid extra, though.

Jake proceeded to make his daily call to his grandmother at this time, he allowed her to rant off his ear about being a "bright young man" with "so much more potential". He will admit she was right in nagging him about doing something with his life. But whether he would act on it all depended on if he got the chance. After having watched a couple of movies Jake had the sudden realization that he hadn't even eaten yet. He made a late-evening escapade to the closest stop nearby. McDonalds. Yeah sure it was shit but it was cheap. Besides he hadn't gone shopping yet so this was his last resort.

Oh, thank you, Lord. So much. Can you hear the sarcasm? Kevin left early, so Dirk is basically running this McDonalds by himself right now. He shut down the driv-thru, continuing to stack boxes in the back but keeping an eye out at the counter for any of the stoned teenagers and annoying small children dragging their families here at this godforsaken hour of the night - he would be working until four, at least. He wasn't going to make it to the cafe tomorrow, that's for sure. He'd be out till noon.

Jake stood at the cash register,looking around for anyone tending to the customers. Speaking of customers there seemed to be none that were visiting at the current moment,besides Jake. Geeze this place was barren. Though on the outside window it said open 24 hours. Unless he read it wrong, wouldn't be the first time.

Hearing the bell ring, he checked his wristwatch - 11:27. Who in the fuck...? "I'll be there in a sec, hang on." He calls irritatedly, walking over and stacking the last stupid box he has to. He puts on his stupid paper hat, it looks dumb and fucks his hair up but he has to wear it because Alex is in the back and Alex will tell on him if he doesn't, that bitch. She does absolutely /nothing/ around here, and - oh, fuck. "Uh..." So eloquent, Dirk.

**/I THOUGHT UP A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT DIRK-LIKE MCDONALDS GREETINGS**

**/'Welcome to fucktardville, which shit on a plate can I get you today?'**

**/'If you're here, you know what you're getting, regardless of what you ordered."**

**/'What number should I draw on a plate for you? Can you count?'**


End file.
